March 19, 2010, Newsletter Issue #313: Goats And Other Gifts For Groomsmen

Tip of the Week

When you’re out shopping for the perfect gifts for groomsmen, do not allow your mother to make any suggestions at all. Can’t you just hear it now? Why not a nice pocket watch like your grandfather had? she’ll say. How about a nice pack of crisp handkerchiefs? Mmmm…that’s just what they want, the chance to blow their noses in a six-by-six bed sheet. No, make sure to avoid that well-intended but very misguided motherly gift advice.



Most couples make the mistake of worrying about the type of gift the groomsmen will appreciate. Don’t stress over that! Who cares if one of the guys is sporty and the other guy cries at operas? What you want to do is buy gifts for groomsmen that make a statement about who you are! Are you an environmentalist? Buy a chicken or a goat for a third-world family in the groomsmen names. But don’t stop there. Sure, it’s a great cause you’re giving to, but isn’t your goal really to humiliate and embarrass your groomsmen? I thought so. Here are a few suggestions to help you really make a statement when it comes time to let everyone know what you got the groomsmen:



· Photoshop some pictures of farm animals with shots of the groomsmen.



· Have one of those “farm animal noise” baby toys on hand (you know, the one where you pull the handle and different farm animals make sounds?) You’ll be able to say….”And for Tommy, we bought him a (pull the lever to make the animal sound) goat.”



· If you’ve planned for some music, throw in a couple of animal-themed songs.



At the end of the day (or night) you’ll have done something great toward ending world hunger, while feeding your need for sweet, delicious humiliation.

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